So, I always find it really embarrassing when I post more than twice in one day, and generally I feel like it's something that people should be ashamed of, but I'm stuck on the conclusion for my paper and since solitaire died with my computer, I figure I can do something slightly more constructive and entertaining with my "thinking" time. Whatever.
I also remembered several of the things that I had been wanted to post about but always forget whenever I sit down to write. Number one: the fucking weather. I realize that this sounds totally banal, but it's pretty fucked. Like, it was snowing last week. Not a whole lot, but enough to drag out the winter gear again. Two days BEFORE it started snowing, it was +15 and sunny. Two days after it stopped: +15 and sunny. This morning when I left the house it was already +10 and sunny and I was looking forward to a great day. By afternoon, it was probably +2 and cloudy. Thanks a lot, Spring.
With the advent of Spring and the hideous Spring fashions, this is a good time to review my Winter highlights. First prize for the most heniously ugly thing I've seen this winter goes to either the girl wearing the Mickey Mouse pants, or the girls with the hairy boots. The boots are awful: imagine that you decided that a baby yeti's feet would make attractive footwear, then cut them off, and wore them around town. Second prize goes to all the girls in the puffy down jackets that end right underneath their breasts, leaving their entire midriff exposed in the -25 weather. Very nice, girls. Way to work on the shrinking population problem by freezing your ovaries! Good work! Last but not least, third prize goes to the goths. Because who the fuck is a goth anymore? I mean, really?
While we're on the subject of blasts from the past: rollerblades. When's the last time you saw somebody rollerblade (apart from Napolean Dynomite)? They're seriously the rage here. People blast down Nevsky on their rollerblades knocking over the little babyshkas, drunk businessmen on lunchbreak, and whoever else happens to get in their path. And for as many people as there are on Nevsky (i.e., a lot of obstacles), I have yet to see one bite it. I'm eagerly waiting. And when that day comes, I will laugh, my friends. I will laugh a lot.
Also. Sex in bathrooms. Is really gross. I understand that it's really hard for young people to find places to get busy since everybody lives with their parents until they're at least 30, but seriously, people. I went to a club a while ago and of the 6 or 7 bathroom stalls, only 2 were actually available for use (the others being occupied by horny young couples and kids blowing coke, although where they get the money for that is beyond me). At the internet cafe a couple nights ago, I walked into the bathroom and there were used condoms floating in the toilet. Now, this might be okay if there was, you know, nowhere else to put them, but there was a trash can SIX INCHES away! Right next to the toilet! This is just unnecessary. Not only do they have to rub in that the rest of us aren't getting laid, but they have to be gross about it too. Ew.
And another thing. Personal hygiene. I feel like this has probably been the subject of at least one other paragraph in at least one other post, but the entire country of Russia reminds me of that scene from the Blues Brothers where they're in the fancy restaurant and the man at the next table asks the maitre'd to be moved. "Frankly they're offensive... smelling." Yeah. I understand that sometimes it's hard to bathe every day. I don't. But I bathe when I'm dirty or when I'm starting to smell bad, not when I've already smelled bad for a couple days, then decided to piss myself and roll around in a pile of my own shit. Maybe throw up a little bit on my shirt. Just for good measure. And I'm ALWAYS next to these people. It never fails. I wasn't sure that the B.O. could be worse than it was this winter, but I think it actually is getting worse as the weather is getting warmer. Maybe because people have less clothes on and the stink is closer to the air or something? Somebody smart tell me why they're so much stankier now.
There's some other stuff too, which I will probably write about very soon. Probably involving upcoming travel plans. (And maybe even mullets...)
I also remembered several of the things that I had been wanted to post about but always forget whenever I sit down to write. Number one: the fucking weather. I realize that this sounds totally banal, but it's pretty fucked. Like, it was snowing last week. Not a whole lot, but enough to drag out the winter gear again. Two days BEFORE it started snowing, it was +15 and sunny. Two days after it stopped: +15 and sunny. This morning when I left the house it was already +10 and sunny and I was looking forward to a great day. By afternoon, it was probably +2 and cloudy. Thanks a lot, Spring.
With the advent of Spring and the hideous Spring fashions, this is a good time to review my Winter highlights. First prize for the most heniously ugly thing I've seen this winter goes to either the girl wearing the Mickey Mouse pants, or the girls with the hairy boots. The boots are awful: imagine that you decided that a baby yeti's feet would make attractive footwear, then cut them off, and wore them around town. Second prize goes to all the girls in the puffy down jackets that end right underneath their breasts, leaving their entire midriff exposed in the -25 weather. Very nice, girls. Way to work on the shrinking population problem by freezing your ovaries! Good work! Last but not least, third prize goes to the goths. Because who the fuck is a goth anymore? I mean, really?
While we're on the subject of blasts from the past: rollerblades. When's the last time you saw somebody rollerblade (apart from Napolean Dynomite)? They're seriously the rage here. People blast down Nevsky on their rollerblades knocking over the little babyshkas, drunk businessmen on lunchbreak, and whoever else happens to get in their path. And for as many people as there are on Nevsky (i.e., a lot of obstacles), I have yet to see one bite it. I'm eagerly waiting. And when that day comes, I will laugh, my friends. I will laugh a lot.
Also. Sex in bathrooms. Is really gross. I understand that it's really hard for young people to find places to get busy since everybody lives with their parents until they're at least 30, but seriously, people. I went to a club a while ago and of the 6 or 7 bathroom stalls, only 2 were actually available for use (the others being occupied by horny young couples and kids blowing coke, although where they get the money for that is beyond me). At the internet cafe a couple nights ago, I walked into the bathroom and there were used condoms floating in the toilet. Now, this might be okay if there was, you know, nowhere else to put them, but there was a trash can SIX INCHES away! Right next to the toilet! This is just unnecessary. Not only do they have to rub in that the rest of us aren't getting laid, but they have to be gross about it too. Ew.
And another thing. Personal hygiene. I feel like this has probably been the subject of at least one other paragraph in at least one other post, but the entire country of Russia reminds me of that scene from the Blues Brothers where they're in the fancy restaurant and the man at the next table asks the maitre'd to be moved. "Frankly they're offensive... smelling." Yeah. I understand that sometimes it's hard to bathe every day. I don't. But I bathe when I'm dirty or when I'm starting to smell bad, not when I've already smelled bad for a couple days, then decided to piss myself and roll around in a pile of my own shit. Maybe throw up a little bit on my shirt. Just for good measure. And I'm ALWAYS next to these people. It never fails. I wasn't sure that the B.O. could be worse than it was this winter, but I think it actually is getting worse as the weather is getting warmer. Maybe because people have less clothes on and the stink is closer to the air or something? Somebody smart tell me why they're so much stankier now.
There's some other stuff too, which I will probably write about very soon. Probably involving upcoming travel plans. (And maybe even mullets...)
posted by hillary at 6:16 PM
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