So because I'd been thinking about poetry last night, I started trying to think about what kind of poetry I like, because I do like some of it. The product of all this thought culminated in the following:

There once was a whack bitch named Kristen
Who would tell anyone who would listen:
"I will work," —with a sigh,
"For the FBI,
"But only in trafficking women!"

It's actually preventing women trafficking, but she's a whack bitch, and even Pushkin took poetic liberties. Besides, it's more funny this way.

And none of you wrote any parables of the whack bitch of Whackistan. This makes me sad because I'm sure that many of you have encountered many whack bitches that you could write me entertaining stories about. But looking back, I didn't really make a clear distinction between the whack bitches and the crazy bitches. So. For the record. A crazy bitch is crazy all the time and that's all there is to it. Sometimes she's maybe less crazy than others, but she's always crazy. A whack bitch is a little different. A whack bitch seems really normal until she just goes and does something totally whack, like hits you upside the head and then steals your wallet or something.

Entertain me. It's cold and dark over here.