So, I know that in the past there have always been pictures on Wednesdays, but we may be getting to the point where the pictures on Wednesday stop, either because I'm too cheap to pay for permits, or because I'm straight up not allowed to take pictures of what I'm seeing.
Take today, for example. The excursion was fucking awesome. We toured the Baltika beer factory and got to taste all the different kinds of beer they make. But they wouldn't let us take any pictures because they're afraid that we'll either steal their special recipes or because we'll take pictures and then use them to find some way to either break in or blow up the factory. And we all know that Russia without beer would be a sad country indeed...
This was actually a really cool excursion. I'd never been to a beer factory although I'm from the land of fucking micro-brews, and that huge factory that used to be in the middle of the downtown Pearl that I can't remember the name of right now. It's where Whole Foods is now. And I know that a huge factory is a little different than micro-brewing, thanks, but all the same, I feel like I should have been before now. Anyway, we got to see all the tanks where they age the beer, and I've never seen so many giant tanks of beer in my life. The smell was amazing. All I could think about was how happy I would be if one of those tanks just spontaneously sprung a leak.
Then we went through (and when I say went through, we walked through the factory in these glass skyways) the bottling part where they make the bottles, complete with a machine that they called an "american worker" that was like a roller coaster for the bottles to cool them off. Then they fill the bottles, cap them, wash them, slap the labels on, and package them. The whole process was so fast. It was incredible. The plastic bottles went faster than the glass ones, and with less breakage and spillage.
We also got to go through some of the warehouses where they keep the beer before it's shipped out. This was a warehouse bigger than an airplane hanger where they keep cartons and cases and kegs and whatever the fuck else beer comes in. Anyway, this looks like enough beer to keep people busy for a good month, but it turned out to be only big enough to keep Russia drunk for three days. And Russia isn't even the leader for per capita beer drinking.
Speaking of disturbing things related to alcohol drinking, there's a liver failure epidemic going around Russia right now. All the prices for the cheapest alcohol just went up, and the people who could barely afford the rotgut that is legal to sell are now drinking god knows what, and as a result, are undergoing liver failure. Needless to say, the state is very concerned about this further decrease in population. The pictures of bright yellow people on the news are really gross.
Anyway, after we made it through the warehouses and past the huge wall of gifts that people have given the factory, the guide showed us the special Balitika horses. Apparently, the horses are part of their ad campaign, which involves people in period costume driving around downtown Petersburg with horses and a big wagon full of (empty) Baltika kegs. There were only two horses there (the rest were somewhere else) and they looked pretty much like all horses look.
After that excitement, we got to go to the tasting room where we had beer and snacks. Because drinking's no good if you can't remember the three rules of Russian drinking: 1) Never admit that you're drunk (because that means you're a pussy); 2) Never drink alone (because that means that you're an alcoholic); 3) Never drink without food (because this also means that you're an alcoholic). Anyway, we got to try all kinds of different Baltika beers, which are numbered according to some arcane system that nobody can really figure out. Anyway, I liked No. 8, the unfiltered wheat beer. The 5 tastes a lot like Miller with a little more kick, and is apparently the number one seller. As usual, there was a discussion of the purpose of non-alcoholic beer, which most people agreed was created for recovering alcoholics until Meg came over and laid down the law: "Baltika 0 isn't for ex-alcoholics! It's for athletes, pregnant women, and designated drivers!" Somehow this was more funny when I was sloshed.
We were all a little punchy by the time the guide officially declared the tour over. And then he disappeared and came back with gift bags with Baltika mugs in them. Yay free things!
After the excursion, I was supposed to meet my new tutor, Zhenya, but we ran late at the factory and we decided that it would just be better to meet Thursday. This was really good because I've had bad insomnia all week and haven't been getting more than a couple hours of sleep. It's really hot in my room now that the heat's on, and even though I sleep with the window open, it's still not quite enough. Anyway, for whatever reason, I haven't been sleeping, and I've been feeling like shit. I'm always surprised how close being drunk is to going on very little sleep. There's that same feeling of being at a remove from everything going on around. And being slightly buzzed in the middle of the day and real tired was enough to kill whatever little motivation I had to go do anything.
So I went home and did homework or read a book or something. I don't remember.
Take today, for example. The excursion was fucking awesome. We toured the Baltika beer factory and got to taste all the different kinds of beer they make. But they wouldn't let us take any pictures because they're afraid that we'll either steal their special recipes or because we'll take pictures and then use them to find some way to either break in or blow up the factory. And we all know that Russia without beer would be a sad country indeed...
This was actually a really cool excursion. I'd never been to a beer factory although I'm from the land of fucking micro-brews, and that huge factory that used to be in the middle of the downtown Pearl that I can't remember the name of right now. It's where Whole Foods is now. And I know that a huge factory is a little different than micro-brewing, thanks, but all the same, I feel like I should have been before now. Anyway, we got to see all the tanks where they age the beer, and I've never seen so many giant tanks of beer in my life. The smell was amazing. All I could think about was how happy I would be if one of those tanks just spontaneously sprung a leak.
Then we went through (and when I say went through, we walked through the factory in these glass skyways) the bottling part where they make the bottles, complete with a machine that they called an "american worker" that was like a roller coaster for the bottles to cool them off. Then they fill the bottles, cap them, wash them, slap the labels on, and package them. The whole process was so fast. It was incredible. The plastic bottles went faster than the glass ones, and with less breakage and spillage.
We also got to go through some of the warehouses where they keep the beer before it's shipped out. This was a warehouse bigger than an airplane hanger where they keep cartons and cases and kegs and whatever the fuck else beer comes in. Anyway, this looks like enough beer to keep people busy for a good month, but it turned out to be only big enough to keep Russia drunk for three days. And Russia isn't even the leader for per capita beer drinking.
Speaking of disturbing things related to alcohol drinking, there's a liver failure epidemic going around Russia right now. All the prices for the cheapest alcohol just went up, and the people who could barely afford the rotgut that is legal to sell are now drinking god knows what, and as a result, are undergoing liver failure. Needless to say, the state is very concerned about this further decrease in population. The pictures of bright yellow people on the news are really gross.
Anyway, after we made it through the warehouses and past the huge wall of gifts that people have given the factory, the guide showed us the special Balitika horses. Apparently, the horses are part of their ad campaign, which involves people in period costume driving around downtown Petersburg with horses and a big wagon full of (empty) Baltika kegs. There were only two horses there (the rest were somewhere else) and they looked pretty much like all horses look.
After that excitement, we got to go to the tasting room where we had beer and snacks. Because drinking's no good if you can't remember the three rules of Russian drinking: 1) Never admit that you're drunk (because that means you're a pussy); 2) Never drink alone (because that means that you're an alcoholic); 3) Never drink without food (because this also means that you're an alcoholic). Anyway, we got to try all kinds of different Baltika beers, which are numbered according to some arcane system that nobody can really figure out. Anyway, I liked No. 8, the unfiltered wheat beer. The 5 tastes a lot like Miller with a little more kick, and is apparently the number one seller. As usual, there was a discussion of the purpose of non-alcoholic beer, which most people agreed was created for recovering alcoholics until Meg came over and laid down the law: "Baltika 0 isn't for ex-alcoholics! It's for athletes, pregnant women, and designated drivers!" Somehow this was more funny when I was sloshed.
We were all a little punchy by the time the guide officially declared the tour over. And then he disappeared and came back with gift bags with Baltika mugs in them. Yay free things!
After the excursion, I was supposed to meet my new tutor, Zhenya, but we ran late at the factory and we decided that it would just be better to meet Thursday. This was really good because I've had bad insomnia all week and haven't been getting more than a couple hours of sleep. It's really hot in my room now that the heat's on, and even though I sleep with the window open, it's still not quite enough. Anyway, for whatever reason, I haven't been sleeping, and I've been feeling like shit. I'm always surprised how close being drunk is to going on very little sleep. There's that same feeling of being at a remove from everything going on around. And being slightly buzzed in the middle of the day and real tired was enough to kill whatever little motivation I had to go do anything.
So I went home and did homework or read a book or something. I don't remember.
posted by hillary at 9:00 AM
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